I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. Yes, it’s finally here. A time of goodwill to all men. A time to forget your differences and celebrate together, with friends, with your family, it’s Christmas. And at this festive time of the year I will refrain from writing about all the problems we face. No, I won’t write about how we know have a mayor with a criminal record, no I won’t do that. And I won’t write about the financial rating of Croatia being regarded as rubbish, no I won’t write about that either. And I definitely won’t mention the traffic collapse in the city, with all the broken promises, not to mention broken deadlines. And why should I even mention the fact that the weather is awful. No this is not a time for the dishonesty of politics, the horrendously organised financial system, the overstretched plans to spend the city’s money on a few roundabouts in a vain attempt to gain re-election, no, this is a time of hope and optimism.
Is your glass half empty or does it have a hole?
Where did our optimism go? What happened to the fight for a better future? Where’s the “never back down” and “never give up” spirit? There are plenty of reasons to be optimistic. Yes, I agree with the general public opinion that the media is to blame. Just turn on the TV, open a newspaper, flick on the radio or surf the internet and you will immediately bombarded with news so black that the only person it would bring joy to is Satan. If an alien had fallen onto earth last week and watched the news he would probably have thought the end of the world would come as a relief after all this horrible news. There are plenty of reasons to be optimistic. We’ve just had the best ever year of tourism and if predictions are to be believed then next year will be even better. We are on the verge of entering the European Union. Granted this is not the pot of gold at the rainbow but still it’s a historic moment for Croatia. We’ve had good news from The Hague, for a change! Come on is it really that bad. Get your head out of your hands and fight. Fight for a brighter future. So in this festive season I want to leave you with a smile, things could be worse after all you could be a turkey! That reminds me of a Christmas joke to brighten the mood, little Peter asks his mother on the night before Christmas “Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?” To which his mother angrily answers “No you can have turkey like everyone else!” Not a very politically correct joke, sorry. Ah, that’s reminded me of another festive joke. “An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a £50 note. Which one picked it up? Santa! The other two don’t exist!” (True) Yes, I am starting to feel better already. A few smiles and the problems melt away like a snowman in August. That reminds me of a joke for the children; what do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle. Sorry, I know that one’s a little daft, but hey it is Christmas.
No news is good news
Maybe it would be good idea if the news started every evening with a joke, or the front page always had a funny photo. Life’s too short. And just to keep the festive giggles going here is one based around the popular “fly in my soup” joke. A multi-national company held a reception to celebrate Christmas. The waiter gave each guest a glass of champagne, but on inspection, each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly. The German asked for new champagne in the same glass. The Englishman demanded to have new champagne in a new glass. The Frenchman picked out the fly out and drank the champagne. The Russian drank the champagne, fly and all. The Chinese ate the fly but left the champagne. The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese. The Italian drank two-thirds of the champagne and then demanded to have a new glass. The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish. The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman. The American sued the restaurant and claimed $50 million in compensation. The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted, “Now spit out all that you swallowed.” (Hehe…as you love jokes about the Bosnians I love jokes about the Scots). Bad news, what bad news I’ve forgotten about all of the horrible headlines from the last ten days. Life’s easier when you smile. In fact that’s a fact; it takes 37 muscles to frown and 22 muscles to smile. So smile. It conserves energy. And whilst we’re on the good, old-fashioned politically incorrect jokes here’s another one. A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: “Anyone want to buy a present?” I love that one. Anyway enough of my jokes, it’s the festive season, lets look forward to next year with hope and a strong desire to fight for justice.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a joyful New Year…